Jennifer Coolidge: The Modern Socialite & The Model Woman 👸💅

And the time I cried myself to sleep...

GUEST WRITER
Will Holden

It is late summer of 1961, Boston Massachusetts is at the height of American imperialism, and yet not all is lost. Jennifer Coolidge, future Primetime Emmy, and Golden Globe award recipient is born. I like to believe Jennifer was born amongst salt and stone, under the full moon in a ritual ordained by the gods. In any case, here we are, in the twenty-first century contemplating the socio-cultural and socio-political impacts of the supreme. Famously, Jenni (I like to think we are besties, and as all besties go, one must dub thee an appropriate nickname) spoke many ‘gospel truths’. Several of these come to mind: “You’re not very smart, and you’re not very bright, I am so glad we had this talk" and “You look like the forth of July – makes me want a hot dog real bad...” and more currently “These gays, they’re trying to murder me!" Life as a significant cultural icon that is Jennifer Coolidge must be tough, hellish even, but alas only one woman could do it. Her. 

Time and time again, cultural moments come and go, but for Jenni these moments are her life and works. It would take me far too long to extrapolate and analyse the finer details of Jenni’s career and works. So, let us deep-dive into their impacts on society – culturally, politically, and pseudo-scientifically. Jenni has a divine impact, like many women do, on the queer, chronically online, wannabe divas of the rapid curators of culture, the queer community - also dubbed by many as the cringe-worthy, Alphabet Mafia. Jenni’s grasp on this one particular group of people is so undeniably important to her success, is, for a lack of better words, strong. 

From Ru Paul’s Drag Race to Halloween the queer community have embraced a very specific niche of mostly white women. This comes from a somewhat overstimulating camp aesthetic, that according to some, have plagued the very soil of culture, and indoctrination of youth identities. My bestie, Jenni, has been at the forefront of these social and political movements as a symbol of identity and unapologetically fabulousness that is “high couture camp." Jenni like many of the queer icons from Judy Garland for the friends of Dorothy and Sapho for the literary lesbos has been a glue that holds all members of the colour-spectrum in the cultural online enlightenment in many spaces together in holy matrimony. This woman could undoubtedly hold me at gun point in a pink dress and wide panama hat, shoot me in the chest, and I would thank her. This sentiment is shared by many, and much to the shock and surprise of the culture-war purists of the right, ideas of her magnificence cannot be comprehended by these “Normies”. Jenni as a cultural zeitgeist is a stringent aspect of online debate, and whether camp expressionism and the 21st century cultural enlightenment has gone too far, her idenity is forthwith etch in time and is unstoppable. 

One of the biggest questions of our socialised existence and online presence is in most cases a debate over the rights of ones own self-fulfilment in internet countenance. Jenni’s love for the queer-dom is just as part of that as any self-made social justice warrior, and rightly, intersectional feminist gen-z leaders. Jenni loves ‘the gays’ and even by looking at her presence online, her activism is, to put it again simply, strong. In any case, here is a non-specific list of things (in short) Jenni has done for the queer-dom: Supported queer people through her verbiaged wisdom, and actualised justice in any means, that being events and philanthropic donations. 

What is a queer sensibility if not the physical and metaphorical embodiment of Jenni in and out of screen? When examined, Jenni enters the forefront of the minds eye. I often ponder what life would be like as an iconic producer, actress, socialite, and philanthropist. Alas, I am a writer, cursed to tell others stories in hyperbolic statements and feelings of deep unfathomable connection. Jenni however, can be perceived externally, her social and cultural impact on queer sensibilities lies deep into the psyche of pretty much everyone. You might be wondering what a ‘queer sensibility’ is, well, let’s first go back to the year Autumn of 1997. 

I was born into a uniquely unhappy marriage between two Catholic converts, both destined for a hellish, mean gay of a son. I was not the daughter my mother wanted, but I had the limpy wrist and I was simply “a princess in the village doing alright.” My first introduction to Jenni was A Cinderella Story staring Hillary Duff. I knew from this moment that my life and works  were much like Jenni’s; a queer sensibility. Irony and sarcasm came naturally to both Jenni and myself, critiquing and making hilarious subversions to the horrors of the hetero-world, fully embracing the fashion of smart casual mid-2000s, twelve-year-old boy chic. Jenni would be proud. I love a scarf, a large hat, and maybe would pretend to have one of those long robes 1950s stars like Doris Day would wear coming down the stairs to see that her husband had been murdered but it was me all along. Jenni does that for me. 

Jenni is not like other girls I say, as I, unlike other girls (I am a man), put on my best dress and defy all culpable expectations of gender in any rural setting. Jenni is to the gays what horse girls are to the bogans of rural Midlands, and even Central and Northern Canterbury (NZ). My early intersectional feminist ideas (without knowing it) come from seeing Jenni in many roles. Epic Movie, the one spoof my mother did give me the privilege to watch, saw Jenni as the satirical embodiment of C.S Lewis “Female Satin." Like her character, we were both illiterate, and not being able to read, is in my mind the most queer sensibility, for: “This sign can’t stop me, for I cannot read."