Interviewing Yzzy Maindonald: Ego Hardware & Spirituality ★★

So Yzzy, you have gone through some pretty epic spiritual changes over the past few years. Talk to me about where you are spiritually. 

So far from where I started, with so far to go. I came to a place in my life when I realised that I was an amalgamation of external reference points. I had shrunk myself so much that I didn’t know who I truely was a person. What is forced into the shadows will always breach the surface, whether it is heralded into conscious or it forces itself. Essentially, I got to a point where I had wound myself so tightly into a cocoon with no sight into the world, yet with oceans of yearning for more. It was more or less an eternal cycle of internalised pain. This confrontation of what my life truely was, catalysed a painful period of shadow work. One that I’ve only recently started to come out of. Consciously viewing the parts of myself that had been relegated beneath, because I, or others, had deemed it undesirable nor needed. Cycles and patterns had kept me safe up until the moment that they became barriers. I met so many parts of myself, all as beautiful as the last, and gained a deeper understanding of all that led me to my position now and how they can help me manifest my visions into the physical world. The largest difference between now and then, is the peacefulness I've experienced through the organic blooming of my spirituality, rather than getting overwhelmed with the expanse of experience and knowledge that there is within spiritual development. Sitting in what is instead of what it should be. I still experience this tension where I’m unsure if I’m spiritual or not. Unsure of what being ‘spiritual’ should look like and whether I am embodying that perception or not. It’s just easier to allow what is to be now. The pain and the beauty that I have been able to experience, the opening of doors into the unknown, the wells of knowledge that I have not yet tapped into, the unlimited faith in what I can be in this world, the grandiosity of everything that is not human (WOW!!!) - they make my heart feel warm and expansive, they are what keep me pursuing my ‘spiritual path’, they give me purpose.  

For someone starting out with astrology, what advice would you give (resources etc)? What is your spiritual chart and how do you express it? 

The app Time Passages. Books from second hand shops and witch stores in small towns. A close friend who can read your chart and remind you of your transits. 

Aries Sun, Libra Moon, Taurus Ascendent, Pisces Mercury & Venus, Aries Mars.  I’m not sure where I start and another person ends. Polarity. Beauty. Watery Fire. Sometimes I feel like I belong somewhere in the universe that is not Earth. 

Why did you decide to start your jewellery business ‘Ego Hardware’ and where did the name come from?

I initially tossed the idea about creating jewellery in Gisbourne during the summer between 2nd and 3rd years at university. 12 months ago I engaged with the fact that I needed a form of creation. Playing around in different mediums I circled back to jewellery. From there the floodgates opened: the obsession of adorning the flesh in an organic and brutalist nature attached itself; ancient uses of metals absorbed my echo chamber; and the concept of EGO was born. The name came from staring into space during a period of unemployment, it’s the only name that has stuck.  

You remind me of Lucinda from MAFS. Can you share some values that you live by and any tips for self discovery?

Equanimity - Being able to exist in all states, including neutral, will bring in peace and excitement into a life that is to be a grand Drama. Be open - The most interesting breakthroughs happen at the weirdest of times. The most interesting people you will meet will pop up when least expected. Be inquisitive -  be a beginner. Be surprised by whatever happens next. Ask why. Talk to animate and inanimate beings. Read random shit that you may think are ridiculous but are surprisingly insightful. Care about others but don’t allow them to dictate your reality - healthy boundaries are the one thing that will enable you to retain empathy and compassion without taking on another entirely. Discover you - there is so much evolution in your life, so many forms will be taken. Be feminine. Be Maori. Be anything you want to be. Listen to new music. Read books. Sit in silence in nature. 

What are your plans for moving to Byron Bay?

SO! Contrary to popular belief, the move is not forever, it is actually the first stop on my overseas  mission. My brother and his partner moved to Byron Bay late last year and created their own tattoo studio, and I’m going over to reap the rewards of their hard work. A soft-landing for a long period of being supremely untethered. After Byron, I'll be heading up into Indonesia, then a couple more months spent around South-East Asia. Then Europe, where I'll be trying to evade the crowds and integrate into new communities. Here I can learn everything I need to learn (at this time) about my passions. 

For more on Yzzy and EGO Hardware: @egohardware

The Met Gala '24 💋

The Met 2024 

Isn't it so special when the world's most elite and famous come together for a parade? Thousands of dollars drip from their torsos and onto the blood carpet, creating a trail of inadequacies and tiny brain cells. It all feels very dystopian - the outside world peering into their exceptional and untouchable lives. The cost of these events is absurd and would probably save Palestine in a day if they put it all together. 

I like having nice things and I get it, wear your sh*t and flaunt it. I feel bad about a worldwide, broadcasted event that takes a magnifying glass to the rich and famous. It applauds their work and reduces other work on the platform - activism, people needing help, important policies to discuss etc. Although I'm opening up a can of worms on the duties of famous people, I want to bring it back down to THE FASHION HUNGER GAMES.

When something is thrust into the public space it beckons criticism. I love fashion and although my intent is not to criticise the hours of work donned by fashion moguls, I want to hit you with my hot-take. Take it with a grain of salt as always. 

The theme for The Met Gala 2024 is 'Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion.' Sleeping Beauty is a character in “The Garden of Time," a short story by J.G. Ballard, a British author who specialised in dystopian works of fiction. The story represents death/incapacitation and also new beginnings. 

In seeking to meet this theme, the rich and famous interpret this idea in a variety of ways to raise money for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Here are my top looks (my own opinion). 

ZENDAYA 

Zendaya look 1

Zendaya look 2

Zendaya EMBODIED the thematic exploration of 'The Garden Story.' I love when actors apply their skills and wear the fashion, rather than the fashion wearing them. Zendaya darkens her look with furrowed brows and a Maleficent-Angelina-Jolie stance, very eery and contrasting with the floral arrangement in look 2. Zendaya absolutely nails the brief each Met Gala, she works hard all year round. She is graceful, humble, brillant and an artist. She's my favourite 11/1o. 

ELLE FANNING

 Elle Fanning 

Fanning is an ethereal being through and through. She encapsulates the divine feminine with pale-Victorian features. You'll notice that she never fake-tans and always dons a natural makeup look and pale outfit. Fanning is wrapped in a glassy fabric almost a parallel for Alice & The Looking Glass. The glass flowers on her shoulders enhance the transparency of the look - very ice princess of her. Only she could pull this off, given that her whole identity is a damsel in distress. I do love it. Oh, to be skinny and dainty! 8.5/10

TYLA 

Tyla

Tyla presents 'the sands of time' through a clay-like/textured gown. Moulded to her body, she shows time fleeting quickly with an hour-glass handbag to match! I love the sculpture of this dress, it feels Greek and rich in femininity. I saw Balmain cutting the length off for the after-party and the mini-dress is even better! The craftsmanship is spectacular. She hones her features with a bronzed face and a spicy eyebrow slit. I would wear this to a tropical location if anyone invited me - just saying! 10/10

BARRY KEOUGHAN & SABRINA CARPENTER

Sabrina & Barry

I love to see men doing the most, especially when it comes to dress-up. Barry Keoughan comes through with the theme, showing the utmost masculinity as The Mad Hatter. It feels very Elizabethan/Victorian, I adore the neck-ribbon and top hat. Is the colour a hint to Carpenter's new single 'Espresso?' I think Carpenter & Keoughan compliment each-other's outfits nicely - very Alice In Wonderland. They looked stunning. I do wish Carpenter had accessorised more (give it some camp with a head-piece or an overlayed lace/textured torso. In the words of The Mat Hatter: "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense." 8/10 

DOVE CAMERON & DAMIANO DAVID

Dove & Damiano

“It is very much an ode to nature and the emotional poetics of fashion" as noted by Andrew Bolton on the description of the theme. These two are made for a lustrous night in the leaves, a hidden kiss behind the hedge, and a rampant Bridgerton escapade. Sultry and innocent seem to parallel this year in the Met. Dove & her beau Damiano look poetic, syrupy, revealing and stunning! I love how they compliment each-other's look - almost like a Trelise Cooper floral/transparent dress. The symbolism is in the glorified flowers; they reveal themselves to the world, harshly. They bare their skin and show vulnerability and sexiness. I'm so enthralled by Daminao David's look. I love when a man goes all in for costume! Dove Cameron is an overgrown rosebush on a dewy autumnal morning. Obsessed. 11/10

KYLIE JENNER

Kylie Jenner

This dress is innocent, pearlescent, even nice. The pointy brassier gave the dress a subtle edge. If a woman in a garden has pointy nipples then I can infer some sexy hunk is there... or it's cold. It's not my favourite. It feels basic. The theme is so congruent with symbolism and metaphor and new beginnings, it needed more than Austin Powers/Fembot inspired tatas. The Ozempic is serving as an accessory though. 6.5/10

KENDALL JENNER

Kendall Jenner

I like this. This feels like a grungy Narnia character - the emo Ice Queen. The hair-do really pulls it together. The twisted plait and undone long hair reminds me of Game of Thrones. This dystopian/fantasy is cut and laced up in this fall-winter 1999 Givenchy archival dress. The theme hints at death and darkness; the slipping away of sanity. This look reveals the underground; the soil/roots of a garden. Kendall is our Phoenix and she rose from the ashes in this look. For once she got something right. 9/10 

Let me know who your favs were. This night is always monumental in showcasing classism and an extremely absurd life. On this day, Israeli Zionists attacked Rafah, Gaza. If I had all the money in the world, I would send it to The Red Cross working the ground in Palestine, to medical/rescue flights, to remaining hospitals and volunteer groups, to journalists and families who desperately need OUT of warfare. My beautiful friend Will is a global citizen and educated me on the current Palestinian genocide. It's confusing and it's hard to comprehend war in the 21st century. What we don't get taught in History is that the present is flooded with war/conflict. It's not in history books yet because the present is still being written. It's hard to know what to do, especially when on the other side of the world. I take this from the refreshed NZ Curriculum: Understand, Know, Do. That is the three part system for action. 

Aroha nui x

'The Bell Jar' & 'The Catcher In The Rye' have me MESSED UP 📚

I’m reading The Bell Jar with the same enjoyment I read The Catcher In The Rye – one of my all time favourite novels. Sylvia Plath writes from the perspective of Esther; a cynical and depressed young lady who insists on sporting people around for her own enjoyment. The clever use of stream-of-consciousness and unreliable narrator is so fascinating. With a combination of blended imagery, absurdism and double entendre, I am astounded with 20th century literature and modernism. This style of writing crawls up my skin and follows me into my dreams, where I am the antihero trying to navigate this ‘crumby’ world with my own sick sense of humour and embedded sonnets. The inner worlds of Holden Caulfield (Catcher), and Esther (Bell Jar) are so similar, written so-alike despite their different experiences and gender. Every experience is different, the events are different, however their inner monologues are identical and they both don’t like anyone. Every so often, you’ll get a glimpse of their past when they brush past somebody or have a conversation. In steering away from their focus at hand, they retreat back to their home life in which we understand the strains on their family life, and how desperately alone they feel. 

The writing is accessible - it’s not overly complex, however the perspective of the mundane is what sets both books apart from 21st century literature. For example, in Catcher In The Rye: “The bus driver opened the doors and made me throw it out. I told him I wasn’t going to chuck it at anybody, but he wouldn’t believe me. People never believe you.” Holden speaks with excess; a simple moment became extreme as he motioned his own hurt and mental instability. Holden believes he is completely alone and constantly sabotaged by those around him, including a nameless bus driver. In The Bell Jar: “I knew chemistry would be worse, because I’d seen a big chart of the ninety-odd elements hung up in the chemistry lab, and all the perfectly good words like gold and silver and cobalt and aluminium were shortened to ugly abbreviations with different decimal numbers after them. If I had to strain my brain with any more of that stuff I would go mad.” Esther finds the ‘ugly’ and inexcusable in the many mundane and ordinary things like the periodic table. She compares learning chemistry to madness, which sounds off-the-cuff because I sometimes do too, however she buys in to this concept of ‘insanity’ which is quite overused in women’s literature. 

In a similar way, Holden Caulfield overuses the word ‘mad’ and constantly reiterates this: “I swear to God I’m a madman.” With such absurdity, both protagonists tell the readers that they are losing the plot, whilst avoiding their real lives in search of a higher power or motive. They both believe they are destined for greatness and pursue negative habits to gain it. They lack attention to their own lives whilst culling other people down, and paying attention to everything else. This hyper-vigilance we could argue is a result of trauma. We see this in Holden’s life when his younger brother Allie passes away, as a result there is excess description and a highly-observant focal point. Esther also suffers from the loss of her father at an early age – again, begging excess description and a highly-observant focal point. She revisits the past through mundane things which trigger her memories. Esther is triggered by the death of her father and she fears the possibilities of her life, she thinks there are too many options and she wants to be everything, all the time, all at once. “I felt like a racehorse in a world without racetracks or a champion college footballer suddenly confronted by Wall Street and a business suit, his days of glory shrunk to a little gold cup on his mantel with a date engraved on it like the date on a tombstone. I saw my life branching out before me like a green fig tree…” Esther feels trapped by too many possibilities, she fears her death is near. She’s unsure which way to turn for fear of disappointing others and herself, which causes her to standstill until she becomes a shell of herself unable to complete anything. 

The irony in the fig tree is a split version of how Esther views herself; “One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was….” Plath goes on to detail the complacency of sitting and watching this fig tree sprout, all the while never touching it or making use of it, until it dies. Esther feels she has died too, in the extended metaphor of the fig tree and through the suffocation of ‘the bell jar’ she is trapped in. In Catcher, Holden does not sleep for three days, and Esther claims to have not slept for ‘twenty-one days’ and is admitted to an asylum. The similarities between Esther in The Bell Jar and Holden in Catcher In The Rye is unequivocally uncanny and I have lost sleep over it. I am enthralled with both novels and authors, and have sought to find out if J.D Salinger (Catcher), and Sylvia Plath (Bell Jar), hooked up and thus, shared their secrets over twisted sheets and mulled wine. 

There is a bigger question here on the basis of characters – Holden is similar to his author J.D Salinger as he perpetrated isolation; Salinger hid in New York City until he died. He HATED the fame his novel bought forth: ergo, weirdo. Sylvia Plath mirrored her protagonist Esther, a poet who felt she was destined for everything all at once, she was so torn between all the possibilities of a modern woman that she was driven to insanity. Plath on the same spectrum, experiences such insanity that she gassed herself to death, with her head in the oven. At least Salinger enjoyed a lengthy solitude. 

I’ve taught the Freudian psychoanalytic theory on how the brain stops maturing when a person experiences significant trauma. Plath briefly mentions this concept through Joan, a measly character who wants to be a psychiatrist and rambles on about the Ego and Id. This concept is not obviously explained in The Catcher In The Rye, although an analysis would conclude that Holden’s Id was haltered when his brother died, thus his state of mind is hindered and quite premature. This coincidence is interesting and reading up on it, I realise that Plath took inspiration from J.D Salinger, and Holden. Plath admired the focal point of Holden and sort to recreate this in her own writing. I wonder if this focal point was merely a fitting idea, as Plath finds herself in her protagonist and lives through similar experiences. In the New Statesman, Robert Taubman called The Bell Jar “the first feminine novel in a Salinger mood” and that hits the nail on the head. The Bell Jar itself is to stop someone in their tracks, to look blankly at life as if it were a bad dream. No one ever goes through anything alone, and Plath exhibits authentic feelings of not being good enough, feeling like a failure and uncertainty for the future. Plath paints a perfectly ugly picture of depression, one that most of us can relate to. In doing so, she gives me hope for my future, she also gives me fear, that I might be stuck in this 'bell jar' forever. In feeling unanimous with a 20th century writer who committed suicide, I feel my life is complete (sarcasm). 

This novel is complex in plot, character development, and context. I love a piece of autobiographical apprentice work, especially when it’s given no time of day at publication but relishes post-humorous. So, I answer my own questions: do all protagonists mirror their author in some way? Do authors find themselves in the same stream-of-consciousness as their narrator, using their own lives as stimulus? There’s a saying which goes: it takes one to know one. So all authors unknowingly or perhaps knowingly write their own truths in characters for the readers to truly know them. Are these novels a plea for help? Are we readers so egotistical that we take this writing as purely a work of 20th century fiction? Should we look into the authors just as much as we analyse their protagonists? I’d say the proof is in the pudding and everyone needs to read these novels – so you too can be thrust into an unreliable mind (one that is not your own), and be left wondering if you made the right choices in life. So, cue an E minor and  fall down the deep rabbit hole of self-destruction because it takes absolute breakage to rise from the ashes (no pun intended). 

Haley x

Snoorz and her career: NZ and UK ☺

Eleanor Fanning is a creative force to be reckoned with. I went to high-school with her and let's just say she was WAY cooler, and much more coordinated than I was (she's a dancer too). I asked her some Q's so you don't have to x

What is your current job now in London?

I work as a Social Account Manager, at MG OMD in London. I get to work across a range of accounts, predominantly in the FMCG space, working on the social strategy and content output for brands and one-off campaigns. My favourite part of the role is being able to ideate and implement huge production shoots! From pitching the influencers we’ll work with, to the strategy of our channel focus, sourcing location, props and writing scripts. I feel lucky that although we’re the second largest media agency in the UK, I get to do a bit of everything, which is something to look for when you’re starting out. Some days I’m pitching for new business, meeting clients etc, other days I’m head down in finance - It’s definitely taught me to be adaptable.

What’s been your most surprising moment in London? 

I mean, probably getting mugged in my first week and having my phone and a bunch of money stolen… haha. It’s a right of passage though (that’s what I tell myself). But in all seriousness, how quickly it would feel like home! I’ve met so many people since I came over, you never really think how far you come till you look back. Maybe getting a British boyfriend too, that was so random of me! X

Who is your fashion inspiration?

Adam Sandler, Jane Birkin (depends on the day).

What is your favourite item of clothing that you own?

I have a bunch of NY caps that I’ve had since I was 8, they have my first home number scribbled inside of them. I feel like I don’t hoard on to things but these are the only items from my childhood I still have and wear regularly, so probably them.

Any tips for moving to London and what to expect?

You’ll get really obsessed with Pret, and you’ll ask everyone you meet if they’ve had Pret, because it’s that good. Don’t do this. You will look like a fool. You’ll hyper-fixate on Pret for a while then it will become another storefront you walk past daily like an old flame. But the Ham, Cheese & Rocket sandwich is banging. If you work in an office, avoid saying ‘deck’. Just say presentation, otherwise you will be ripped out for your accent. Don’t move to Clapham, it’s the Hamilton of London. Try Dalston/Hackney - you’ll see Paul Mescal running around London Fields if you’re lucky x

Lastly, whatever you saved, double it. London is expensive and unforgiving. Prepare for just about anything because it will probably happen (good and bad).

What does a regular day look like for you?

6am - Gym

8:30am - Office, bang a coffee and a Ritalin (ADHD girly here).

9am onwards - usually answer emails and jump from meeting to meeting with clients. I’m currently working on a production shoot for McVitie’s... I haven’t done something at this scope before so I’m spinning a lot of plates, but it’s pretty cool to see my strategy come to life.

12:30 - Go to the cafeteria to pickup something to eat and back to my desk.

7pm - Finish at the office. Sometimes I go to ballet in the city which is meditation for me in a way, other days I’ll go the pub (balance).

And to finish, what’s next for you? Will you stay in London and continue to Girl Boss?

I’d like to stay here for a good crack if I can. I’m interested in working towards a more production/creative role in agency over here, as well as expanding to working across European markets. If you’re lucky enough to have a passport that’s great, but a lot of companies will sponsor you after your 3 year visa ends - you just gotta work hard, think ahead and prove your worth.

For more on Eleanor, check her out on Instagram  & TikTok @snooorz

Tid Bits: The rat race of the 21st century✨

If uni assignments are just the reorganisation of information that already exists, then surely that applies to fashion and music and any other element that deems itself original. Any expression of an idea, has been reorganised and constructed as a new viewpoint or statement. Pretty much everything ever, has been thought of before. What makes things interesting is perspective and context - things we all harbour but fail to release with ✨flair✨

Here are some contextual 21st Century, Gen Z things:

Rappers are fighting, Sephora kids are scary and Sydney Sweeney is rebranding as a horror-stricken nun. Everyone has Rhode peptide and loathes Justin at the moment; his hoodie-wearing-hobo-phase has passed it's due date. TikTokers are eyeballed at red carpets and Renee Rapp and Billie Eilish should get together. Hailey Bieber's Erewhon smoothie costs like $40NZD and Brandy Melville refuses to make normal sized clothing. Ozempic is widespread, hollow cheek bones and tiny arms are in. Post Malone is rising from his rap ashes and into the country scene with Morgan Wallen, and P Diddy is in big trouble. 

In my world, I'm eating cheese at my desk a lot. This is a ripe summary of my context and perhaps the rat race....

The rat race

They scurry between beds 

and make room for breakfast

they live in cubes, 

perched over standing desks 

because cellulite is bad

and so is sitting.

Their mouths move quickly 

they talk into earpieces, 

scrunching their noses 

rolling their eyes 

turning back down to 

writing or chewing or sipping from straws. 

They tap on desks and shake their knees,

 piercing sandwiches between their fingers 

and

munch

munch

munch

until

crumbs of 

dairy-free, 

life-free-cheese 

litter the keyboard.

Moral of the story: Livin' La Vida Loca, eat more cheese and slow the f*ck down. 

Haley x

Sidney Waltham is THAT girl ☁

We're in an era of coolness. The sleek, neutral-toned, flawless base, shiny shoes, tinted glasses, coolness. Sid is as cool as it gets, even her name is niche. A content-creator and fashion mogul, Sid is redefining fashion and doing her own sh*t as she climbs aboard to Aussie in search of a scorching

adventure, and a chance to make bank. 

From across the ditch, I ask Sid about her fashion advice and tips for moving overseas. 

Hey Siddie girl, so tell me about biggest fashion inspiration?

Narrowing down inspiration to a singular individual, brand, or trend can be quite challenging, but for me, the real intrigue lies in the narrative behind it. Take Jacquemus, for instance—an individual faced with personal loss, who carved his path into the fashion world at the age of 21. Drawing from his mother's maiden name 'Jacquemus,' the brand embraced resilience and creativity, soon rising to the forefront of French fashion.

What draws me most to a brand is not always product-driven but purpose, its story, and its contribution to society and the environment. Despite Jacquemus' annual turnover exceeding $100 million, what truly captivates me is his commitment to preserving the essence of luxury while ensuring accessibility. It's a tribute to his mother's legacy, where value lies not in the price tag but the inclusivity it embodies.

What is your dream job?

Dream big! My ultimate goal? To own a fashion business, whether as a manufacturer or wholesaler. After working with various upscale fashion brands, I've figured out what works for me and what doesn't. Spending time in the Australian fashion scene has shown me that New Zealand has a big gap in the market—there's just not enough accessibility and affordability.

What is your most expensive purchase and how much do you love it?

My Jacquemus Le Grand Chiquito, my baby. It was a gift from my partner for my 24th birthday. I sifted through the offerings of Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Yves Saint Laurent, However, I was drawn to something different, edgy—something that would set me apart from my peers. Although you could argue that Jacqumues is part of the trend, it felt much rarer to spot one on the streets of NZ compared to a Louis Vuitton. It's that uniqueness that sets it apart and makes it even more special to me.

Tell me about your experience in Aussie so far? 

To be honest, it's been liberating. Despite New Zealand being my home, I've realized the importance of living abroad. Experiencing new cultures and environments, and stepping out of my comfort zone, has been essential for my personal growth. Living alone in Melbourne for six months, accompanied by the adventure of a new country, job, and friends, was both challenging and rewarding. There were moments of loneliness, and uncertainty but it ultimately taught me resilience. Experiences I would never have entailed back home. 

What are your highs and lows of living in the South Australian Outback?

The highs? Mula, baby! My partner and I relocated to a mining town in the outback not just to save money, but also to have the flexibility to explore more of Australia and Southeast Asia with our work schedules. 

As for the lows... well, I'm literally living farther away from civilization than I ever have before. The fanciest I'll get is a pair of denim shorts. But you know, goals don't get met without hard work, right? So, we're putting in the hard yards to reach the gold. 

Do you have any exciting travel plans coming up?

The Gold Coast, baby! Most of our weeks off will be spent there, or in Melbourne or Sydney. Once we're a bit more settled, Southeast Asia is next on our list.

What is your advice for reinventing oneself/getting yourself out there on social media? 

I honestly think it’s to stop giving a f*ck. I'm still navigating my journey to find my voice and expand my presence, but in life, there will always be those who either love or hate you. Whether it's in your career, your social circle, or dealing with online trolls, people will always find a way to criticize or gossip about you. Some see others' success as a threat and are consumed by jealousy. However, the only voices that truly matter to me are those of the people I love.

For more on Sid,
check her out on Tik Tok  
and Instagram @sidwaltham  🤎

Jennifer Coolidge: The Modern Socialite & The Model Woman 👸💅

And the time I cried myself to sleep...

GUEST WRITER
Will Holden

It is late summer of 1961, Boston Massachusetts is at the height of American imperialism, and yet not all is lost. Jennifer Coolidge, future Primetime Emmy, and Golden Globe award recipient is born. I like to believe Jennifer was born amongst salt and stone, under the full moon in a ritual ordained by the gods. In any case, here we are, in the twenty-first century contemplating the socio-cultural and socio-political impacts of the supreme. Famously, Jenni (I like to think we are besties, and as all besties go, one must dub thee an appropriate nickname) spoke many ‘gospel truths’. Several of these come to mind: “You’re not very smart, and you’re not very bright, I am so glad we had this talk" and “You look like the forth of July – makes me want a hot dog real bad...” and more currently “These gays, they’re trying to murder me!" Life as a significant cultural icon that is Jennifer Coolidge must be tough, hellish even, but alas only one woman could do it. Her. 

Time and time again, cultural moments come and go, but for Jenni these moments are her life and works. It would take me far too long to extrapolate and analyse the finer details of Jenni’s career and works. So, let us deep-dive into their impacts on society – culturally, politically, and pseudo-scientifically. Jenni has a divine impact, like many women do, on the queer, chronically online, wannabe divas of the rapid curators of culture, the queer community - also dubbed by many as the cringe-worthy, Alphabet Mafia. Jenni’s grasp on this one particular group of people is so undeniably important to her success, is, for a lack of better words, strong. 

From Ru Paul’s Drag Race to Halloween the queer community have embraced a very specific niche of mostly white women. This comes from a somewhat overstimulating camp aesthetic, that according to some, have plagued the very soil of culture, and indoctrination of youth identities. My bestie, Jenni, has been at the forefront of these social and political movements as a symbol of identity and unapologetically fabulousness that is “high couture camp." Jenni like many of the queer icons from Judy Garland for the friends of Dorothy and Sapho for the literary lesbos has been a glue that holds all members of the colour-spectrum in the cultural online enlightenment in many spaces together in holy matrimony. This woman could undoubtedly hold me at gun point in a pink dress and wide panama hat, shoot me in the chest, and I would thank her. This sentiment is shared by many, and much to the shock and surprise of the culture-war purists of the right, ideas of her magnificence cannot be comprehended by these “Normies”. Jenni as a cultural zeitgeist is a stringent aspect of online debate, and whether camp expressionism and the 21st century cultural enlightenment has gone too far, her idenity is forthwith etch in time and is unstoppable. 

One of the biggest questions of our socialised existence and online presence is in most cases a debate over the rights of ones own self-fulfilment in internet countenance. Jenni’s love for the queer-dom is just as part of that as any self-made social justice warrior, and rightly, intersectional feminist gen-z leaders. Jenni loves ‘the gays’ and even by looking at her presence online, her activism is, to put it again simply, strong. In any case, here is a non-specific list of things (in short) Jenni has done for the queer-dom: Supported queer people through her verbiaged wisdom, and actualised justice in any means, that being events and philanthropic donations. 

What is a queer sensibility if not the physical and metaphorical embodiment of Jenni in and out of screen? When examined, Jenni enters the forefront of the minds eye. I often ponder what life would be like as an iconic producer, actress, socialite, and philanthropist. Alas, I am a writer, cursed to tell others stories in hyperbolic statements and feelings of deep unfathomable connection. Jenni however, can be perceived externally, her social and cultural impact on queer sensibilities lies deep into the psyche of pretty much everyone. You might be wondering what a ‘queer sensibility’ is, well, let’s first go back to the year Autumn of 1997. 

I was born into a uniquely unhappy marriage between two Catholic converts, both destined for a hellish, mean gay of a son. I was not the daughter my mother wanted, but I had the limpy wrist and I was simply “a princess in the village doing alright.” My first introduction to Jenni was A Cinderella Story staring Hillary Duff. I knew from this moment that my life and works  were much like Jenni’s; a queer sensibility. Irony and sarcasm came naturally to both Jenni and myself, critiquing and making hilarious subversions to the horrors of the hetero-world, fully embracing the fashion of smart casual mid-2000s, twelve-year-old boy chic. Jenni would be proud. I love a scarf, a large hat, and maybe would pretend to have one of those long robes 1950s stars like Doris Day would wear coming down the stairs to see that her husband had been murdered but it was me all along. Jenni does that for me. 

Jenni is not like other girls I say, as I, unlike other girls (I am a man), put on my best dress and defy all culpable expectations of gender in any rural setting. Jenni is to the gays what horse girls are to the bogans of rural Midlands, and even Central and Northern Canterbury (NZ). My early intersectional feminist ideas (without knowing it) come from seeing Jenni in many roles. Epic Movie, the one spoof my mother did give me the privilege to watch, saw Jenni as the satirical embodiment of C.S Lewis “Female Satin." Like her character, we were both illiterate, and not being able to read, is in my mind the most queer sensibility, for: “This sign can’t stop me, for I cannot read."